Author: Terri Shearer Trenchard

It Takes A Village To Raise These Kids

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It takes a village to raise these kids – one of my favorite sayings. Today, I expanded my “village,” beyond those treasured and kindred souls — in my kids’ schools, in my neighborhood — and beyond my trusted friends and family. I had a live Twitter chat, as we chatted live (simultaneously – totally fun by the way), about all that was on our hearts and minds related to . . . . raising these kids. We “chatted” about when to have “the talk” with our kids, we talked about their first crushes (really, a cartoon character?), supporting our daughters at the onset of their first period, our tweens’ growing need for privacy (and our need to “keep them close”) and how we keep cooking and they’re still hungry. We talked about open door policies and the need to keep talking, listening, and . . . looking . . . for they’re growing up so fast. Wanna expand your village? We’re chatting again tonight. 8:30 pm EDT. Twitter. Just log in and enter #parentingtweens in …

How and When to Start “THE TALK” Live Twitter Chat!

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Calling All Parents of PreTeen Boys and Girls! Don’t Miss This! Join me for a live Twitter Chat on Thursday, March 21, as we discuss “How and When to Start THE TALK” with your child. This is the first in a series of Twitter chats surrounding important topics related to preteens (and their parents!). There will be two sessions: noon to 1:00 pm or 8:30-9:30 pm EDT. It’s easy to take part in the Twitter chat: • Open a Twitter account (if you don’t already have one). • Use Twitter, Twub.com or Tweetchat.com to log on a few minutes before the chat. Enter #parentingtweens in the search box to participate in the conversation. • Submit questions by starting them with @factsoflifebooks, or ask your question in the status update box in Twitter. Remember to use #parentingtweens. Participants can also submit questions prior to the event by tweeting @factsoflifebooks using the hashtag #parentingtweens. What’s that again? Here’s the simple scoop: WHO Author Terri Shearer Trenchard WHAT LIVE Twitter chat discussing “How and When to Start ‘The …

Pre-Teen Boys . . . Comparing Themselves to Others

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Don’t we want our kids to be happy with themselves just the way they are? Aren’t we just a little disheartened when we see them comparing themselves to others . . . and worse yet, feeling that they don’t measure up? We all compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we adults are the biggest culprits. It’s simply human nature. Yet as we watch our teens do it, we want to steer them the other way. As Franklin Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” As our kids develop and step on the fast track of puberty, they are always looking around: Who’s taller? Who’s faster? Who’s developing first — and why is it me? Or not me? Have you ever thought of the Paradox of Pre-Teens? It is this. They all want to be uniquely THE SAME. As much as our pre-teens strive for unique independence, they want to seamlessly fit in. It’s the nature of the beast. Boys at this age are often pre-occupied with when and how they will experience the changes …

So Your Son Wants to Shave

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So your son wants to shave. Maybe you’re not sure if he’s ready – or better yet – if you’re ready. Shaving is one of those big milestones – a rite of passage. Some boys may be eager to start shaving while others may need some prodding when it clearly appears to be time. Boys do not need to start shaving as soon as their facial hair appears. It all depends on how he —and you—feel about him shaving. Boys may notice more facial hair as early as 9 or as late as 15, but most boys will not have enough facial hair to shave on a regular basis until they are well into their teens. If your son is interested in shaving, it’s really (just another) consideration for you and him. Consider his thoughts, feelings and desires about it. To many boys, it is a “manly” thing to do, and some may be eager to do it. If your son is interested, but you’re not sure if he “needs” to, talk to him about …

So, Your Son Has a Crush

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So, your son has a crush — maybe even a “girlfriend.” Somehow we parents never think our children are old enough — for whatever it is they are embarking upon, albeit even the most natural and age-appropriate thing. Like a crush. Child development experts say these crushes can typically evolve in 5th or 6th grade. Yep. By the way, do you remember your first crush? I remember mine like it was yesterday. Can still feel the flutter of the butterflies in my stomach. I was in the 6th grade. Funny. Here I am, remembering my first crush. In the 6th grade. Right there in Mr. Miller’s homeroom class. I can see the guy’s (dirty blond, wavy) hair right in front of me now. But . . . here . . . today . . . oh so many years later . . . My son can’t possibly be old enough, mature enough, developed enough, to feel those fluttery butterflies in his little tummy too, can he? There I was in 6th grade, and now here …

“But All My Friends Have Cell Phones!”

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Is your kid clamoring for a cell phone? We’ve heard the pleading arguments from our kids before. And we’ll hear them again. Whether it was the pleading argument to convince you to allow your child to drink soda, watch that show, view that movie, or stay up “as late as everybody else,” you’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it again. It’s their job, these kids . . . to test their boundaries . . . to get what they want — especially if other kids, and in particular, their friends have what they are pleading for. The cell phone is no different. It comes (or not) in its own time, according to what is suitable for us parents, our own kid(s) and our specific family. What age is the right age to have a cell phone? Rather than consider the age, per se, be SMART about it. If you are considering a cell or smartphone for your son or daughter, apply the SMART formula: Safety Is your child in locations or situations in which …