All posts tagged: balance

Family Dinner: Leave it To Beaver . . . or Grab ‘N Go?

  Family dinner:  Is it more like Leave It To Beaver or Grab ‘N Go?  Or something in between? Me & my house?  We go through phases. One night . . . the kids will set the table.  And I’ll prepare the meal.  We’ll gather ‘round and talk.  Even have dessert.  Just like Beaver and the Cleavers (well, not exactly.)  Sometimes, two — three — nights in a row.  All of us.  As a family.  Dinner.  Sitting down.  Round the table.  That feels good. Not only does it bring back visions of Leave It To Beaver, but studies show all kinds of benefits to family dinners: kids who eat most often with their parents are 40% more likely to get mainly A’s and B’s in school than kids who have two or fewer family dinners a week  (National Center on addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University via sixsistersstuff.com); adolescent girls who have frequent family meals, and a positive atmosphere during those meals, are less likely to have eating disorders (University of Minnesota, 2004, via zenfamilyhabits.net); when …

The Give and Take of Teenagers

There is a lot of taking in my house . . . the “taking” of rides to practice, the taking of dinner, the taking of clean clothes, the taking of food purchased at the store. I don’t always see a lot of giving. I’m not talking about the generous-save-the-world kind of giving. I’m talking about what my friend calls Common Kitchen Courtesy. I’m talking about the Common Kitchen Courtesy that should be “given” not only in the kitchen, but in the car, the family room, the laundry room, upstairs. I’m talking about a (simple) “thank you” to mom when she takes you to practice and delivers you home. I’m talking about a “yes” instead of a grunt, with just a tad of eye contact. I’m talking about answering the (basic) questions and acknowledging the (loving) comments posed to you from the people who love and care for you the most. I’m talking about the give and take . . . of teenagers. I get teenagers. I get that they need their space . . . …

The Balance of Parenting

Nurture. Empower. Support. Discipline. Boundaries. This parenting thing is such a balance. Build them up; foster their self-esteem; nurture confidence, yet instill independence and responsibility. Maintain boundaries. Communicate consequences. And deliver them consistently. Sometimes it’s a tough row to hoe – and not always an easy one. Take the every-day things. We usually know, in our heads, what we should do. But doesn’t the hectic pace of all those everyday-little- things-and-activities-and-to-do’s-and-texts-and-phone calls-and-emails just get in the darn way sometimes? Sometimes I think this parenting thing would be much easier, much more effective, in a place like Walden Pond or some other inspired utopian community. Ahhhhhhh . . . . not exactly realistic. But I can imagine . . . In the meantime, I, as a loving and well-intentioned parent, perpetually try to balance the delicate acts of nurturing self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth in my kids, while also “preparing them to be citizens of the world.” I read, I listen to, I soak in, and I ponder a variety of “parenting” topics out there, and inevitably, …