All posts tagged: independence

SleepAway Camp: A Stepping Stone for Independence & Responsibility?

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Summer. I find myself wanting to re-create my idyllic childhood summers for my children. Isn’t that human nature, parenting nature, perhaps pure Mother Nature that drives us to re-create for our children what was good in our childhoods, while also adding in what we didn’t have? I always wanted to go to summer camp, sleepaway camp to be exact. My husband too. Whether it was financial restraints, or just not on our parents’ radar, sleepaway camp wasn’t part of the summer recipe. It’s not that I’m complaining. I was blessed with the perfect childhood summers. I spent weeks at the Jersey shore, time in Pennsylvania with grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins, all while spending my everyday summer time in my then hometown in Connecticut. Mornings were spent at swim lessons, followed by the library, and then long, hot, lazy afternoons at the pool. Capped by neighborhood nighttime fun of Kick-the-Can, Witch’s Hour, Spud . . . catching a few of the hundreds of fireflies . . . which later transformed themselves into a temporary lantern …

The Give and Take of Teenagers

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There is a lot of taking in my house . . . the “taking” of rides to practice, the taking of dinner, the taking of clean clothes, the taking of food purchased at the store. I don’t always see a lot of giving. I’m not talking about the generous-save-the-world kind of giving. I’m talking about what my friend calls Common Kitchen Courtesy. I’m talking about the Common Kitchen Courtesy that should be “given” not only in the kitchen, but in the car, the family room, the laundry room, upstairs. I’m talking about a (simple) “thank you” to mom when she takes you to practice and delivers you home. I’m talking about a “yes” instead of a grunt, with just a tad of eye contact. I’m talking about answering the (basic) questions and acknowledging the (loving) comments posed to you from the people who love and care for you the most. I’m talking about the give and take . . . of teenagers. I get teenagers. I get that they need their space . . . …

SleepAway Camp: A Stepping Stone for Independence & Responsibility?

Published by

Summer. I find myself wanting to re-create my idyllic childhood summers for my children. Isn’t that human nature, parenting nature, perhaps pure Mother Nature that drives us to re-create for our children what was good in our childhoods, while also adding in what we didn’t have? I always wanted to go to summer camp, sleepaway camp to be exact. My husband too. Whether it was financial restraints, or just not on our parents’ radar, sleepaway camp wasn’t part of the summer recipe. It’s not that I’m complaining. I was blessed with the perfect childhood summers. I spent weeks at the Jersey shore, time in Pennsylvania with grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins, all while spending my everyday summer time in my then hometown in Connecticut. Mornings were spent at swim lessons, followed by the library, and then long, hot, lazy afternoons at the pool. Capped by neighborhood nighttime fun of Kick-the-Can, Witch’s Hour, Spud . . . catching a few of the hundreds of fireflies . . . which later transformed themselves into a temporary lantern …

Teens . . . And Their Space

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Teens – and their growing need for space. We’re sure finding it in our home. We just “finished” our basement. Real walls, paint and everything. It was once a cellar, crammed with precious “stuff.” Needless to say, we are all thrilled. Especially my 13 year old. Did I mention we never see him? Sorta figured that might happen. Everything has its benefits and costs. He just . . . well . . . likes his space down there. He does occasionally come up. For snacks . . . and dinner . . . and such. You see the picture. It might even resemble your own. What is it with these teens and—their need for—privacy? Away from . . . us? As our teens develop, they need their privacy. It’s one of those developmentally appropriate things. They reach that stage, as they are growing and maturing…in so many different ways…that they want to be thought of as being mature, capable, and able to have some independence. They want us to trust them to be such, and …

The Voice of Her Peers…

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. . . is surely louder than mine. And while I know that during the teenage years the primary shift of orientation goes (normally) from parents to peers, I admit that sometimes (just sometimes) I hate to see that precious family time traded for friend time. Yet trading in family time is not really a rejection of family; it is, again, one of those normal, developmental stages in adolescents attaining some of their independence. According to Walt Mueller of The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, “parents remain tremendously important and significant in their teenagers’ lives.” Let’s remember that. And for all sakes, embrace that. Yes, they just might take our presence, our love, our attention for granted, but isn’t that the least we can grant them as they muddle through the challenging paths of adolescence?