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Teens . . . And Their Space

Boy in room

Teens – and their growing need for space. We’re sure finding it in our home.

We just “finished” our basement. Real walls, paint and everything. It was once a cellar, crammed with precious “stuff.” Needless to say, we are all thrilled. Especially my 13 year old.

Did I mention we never see him? Sorta figured that might happen. Everything has its benefits and costs. He just . . . well . . . likes his space down there. He does occasionally come up. For snacks . . . and dinner . . . and such. You see the picture. It might even resemble your own.

What is it with these teens and—their need for—privacy? Away from . . . us?

As our teens develop, they need their privacy. It’s one of those developmentally appropriate things. They reach that stage, as they are growing and maturing…in so many different ways…that they want to be thought of as being mature, capable, and able to have some independence. They want us to trust them to be such, and at the same time, they are earning our trust. Space (separated from us) gives them that opportunity. It’s a two-way street, just like so many interdependent relationships and situations in life.

Space — away from the main family settings at times — allows them to subconsciously realize that they will be functioning out in the world some day. They’re gaining a little bit of distance from us, but not too much.

It’s our opportunity, too, to let go. Just a bit. And yet not worry, for they’ll still come up for snacks.

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