So, your tween now responds in monosyllables?  Yah.  Me too.  Limited sentences sometimes.  I can hardly understand it.  How ‘bout u?

The more our soon-to-be-teenagers grow, develop, and seek independence — with their own language, thoughts, opinions and actions —  the more we want to be a part of what’s going on.  Yet they often perceive our (loving) interest . . . our (caring) questions . . . our (heartfelt) comments . . . as an invasion of their privacy – an invasion into their adolescent world.  They want some independence.  And they want an independent world somewhat away (just a little bit) from us.

Don’t give up.  Be a part of their world.  Talk when they want to talk.  Listen to what they have to say, when they have to say it.  Listen with your ears and your eyes.  Sometimes they’ll want to talk to Mom; sometimes they’ll want to talk to Dad.  Sometimes they won’t want to talk at all.  Give them their space.  And be there too.  It’s a wild ride for both of you – this adolescent thing.  Hang on tight.

So what’s up with that?  Our pre-teens don’t want us waiting at the bus stop, but they’re the first ones to yell, “Shotgun!” as they enthusiastically plead to hop in the front seat of our car.   I know I shouldn’t take it personally, like that day I ultimately acquiesced and didn’t go to the bus stop (okay, confession, I peeked from around the driveway…I mean, have you seen the news?), but can’t we maintain a bit of that parent-kid connection, that quality time thing…that, “How Are You, Tell Me About Your Day” thing?   I hate to tell you, but those quality time days from the bus stop are gone.  Gone like a ham sandwich with a hobo.  Trade them in.  Give that pre-teen of yours the rite of passage for . . . are you ready? . . . a new level of quality time.  Once you view your tweener as big enough, safe enough, strong enough to handle the (gasp!) potential airbag implosion, trade in the bus stop for the front seat.  Look at it as just another rite.  Once he’s big enough and safe enough, invite him in.  Right next to you in the front seat.  He’ll love it.  And guess what, you’ll love it too.  It’s a whole new level of connecting…one-on-one…same quality time –  different stage, in a different way.  What other stages are on the horizon?  Keep reading.

This pic reminds me of Mommy & Me Soccer when my son held on tight and never let go.  For a whole hour.  Dribbling and running…up and down the field.  Now these pre-teen sons of ours turn their cheeks as we lean to kiss them goodbye.  Ok, I get that.  I know that adolescence is about staking out some independence…staking out their own space, crossing their fingers that WE don’t invade it.  Teens and independence….they go together like babies and their mommies.  But, oh, as they turn their heads, it makes us feel…..a little…..well….just what is it?  Of course, we know that we ultimately need to raise healthy, independent offspring.  Isn’t that part of our job?  Yet why do they want that independence thing…..that space…..almost overnight?!  Check it out:  life.familyeducation.com/tween/teen/51063.html.

Finally!  The book that all boys need – Over 200 Copies Sold in the 1st Week!  Check out Bork Reveals the Real Deal About the Facts of Life, a witty and humorous description of puberty, adolescence and reproduction – perfect for boys ages 9-12.  Check It Out!