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Making It a Great Summer (by guest blogger, Deneitra Hutchinson)

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I recently participated in a fantastic Twitter chat hosted by children’s author Terri Trenchard and life & wellness coach Trisha Chason. Everyone participating had one goal in mind: making this a productive and positive summer for the entire family.

Here, in my opinion, is the best of that conversation. Be sure to add your favorite summer tips in the comment section below.

With the end of the school year, comes summer break. Will summer be like a Country Time lemonade commercial or a time of planned activities — or both? As parents, our youthful days of summer have long passed. We played all day with friends and family. We spent the day in the woods, exploring. When we stayed home, we read until our heads hurt. We made-up games, rode bikes, and visited each other’s homes.

But what about our children? What do they want?

CHALLENGE 1: Ask your child to describe a healthy, summer day. Do they want regular “chill” activities or do they want BIG, ELABORATE plans? How much is enough…one weekday, and one weekend activity, with the rest of the week laid back? Whatever they imagine a good summer to be, have them write it down and then post it in a place when they need a reminder.

SUGGESTIONS: Surprisingly, our kids still want downtime to relax, read, and chat with friends. Since some of those friends may not live within walking distance, you may want to register for a service like Skype. Can’t make it to visit the grandparents this summer, Skype is a great way to stay in touch with extended family.

Movies also rate pretty high. Whether watching home videos that you’ve taken over the years or watching feature films at home, this was a winner, especially on rainy days. And don’t forget the exercise; kids still need it even when there’s no formal PE. Why not visit your local YMCA or keep it simple. Take a bike ride or go hiking in a nearby park.

CHALLENGE 2: Screen Time. I mentioned movie-watching earlier. But how do we keep our kids from watching movies or playing video games all summer long?

SUGGESTIONS: If there are no summer activities planned for that day, limit media/screen time. Two hours per day was the suggestion. That includes phone, computer, video, and all hand-held electronic devices. Within that two-hour window, 50% of the time should be spent on quality programming (something that makes your child a better person). The remaining 50% can be junk. Another option is to balance 30 minutes of reading to earn 30 minutes of tech time.

CHALLENGE 3: Day Trips and Local Outings

SUGGESTIONS: As we considered things to do and places to go during the week, we took a look at some family-friendly, local destinations in our area:
Terrapin Adventures
American Visionary Art Museum
Baltimore’s Museum of Industry
Underground Railroad Experience
C&O Canal
Camden Yard Museum
Patapsco State Park
Berry picking at Larriland Farms
Digging for fossils on Brownies Beach
Tubing in Harper’s Ferry, West VA
Ferry ride to Camp May, NJ

CHALLENGE 4: Getting a healthy and simple dinner on the table after being away from home all day.

SUGGESTIONS: Here are some of our favorite summer meals.
Quiche, that you make ahead of time;
Frittata, with eggs and whatever veggies you have on-hand;
Salads;
Leftovers – make more than you eat the first night and have leftovers the second night;
Multi-purpose – one meal (chili) turns into chili cheese baked potatoes; remaining chili can top off tacos;
Grilled meats, prepared one day of the week but enough to last throughout the week;
Grilled fruit: pineapples, peaches – drizzled with Balsamic Vinegar to bring out the sweetness;
Grilled fish, corn on cob, tomatoes, mozzarella;
Grilled vegetables;
Gazpacho, Caprese salad, avocado, crusty bread and sangria;
Grains, such as quinoa and rice grits;
Tuna salad, quesadillas, spinach salad with hard-boiled eggs and bacon; and
Breakfast for dinner – pancakes and sausage, or omelets.

Our kids will certainly be hungry in-between meals, here is CHALLENGE 5: healthy snacks.

SUGGESTIONS: Summer is a great time to get kids in the habit of eating healthy. These snacks made the list:
Lettuce wraps filled with sandwich stuff;
Cheese toast;
hummus and pita or veggies;
banana with peanut butter;
nuts and raisins;
grapes or other fresh fruit combinations;
string cheese and crackers;
Hydrating snacks like homemade fruit (banana, mango, and tangerine) popsicles can be made with Dixie cups and popsicle sticks.
And of course, have lots of water and Gatorade available.

Another thing parents worry about during the summer months is CHALLENGE 6: Combating Brain Drain. Experts say that kids can lose up to two months of their grade level over the summer. How do we find balance?

SUGGESTIONS: Establish a reward system
According to teachers, reading and free writing are among the best things to do. If your child does not like to write, or doesn’t know what to write, have him try journaling or writing to a pen pal. If your child isn’t a big fan of reading, try workbook assignments that break-up the reading. Establish a point-earning system throughout the summer that can be redeemed for treats, like ice cream, technology time, or a trip to the arcade.

Enrichment camps can be another great way to fight brain drain. CHALLENGE 7: Do you let your kids chose the summer camp or encourage them to try something new?

SUGGESTIONS: Many parents who send their kids to overnight camp say their kids return as more responsible children. If your child is a bit older and you’d like him to become more responsible, you may want to give overnight camps a try. How old should your child be? Some children are ready as early as 8 or 9. Just be sure that they are comfortable spending nights away from home. Age 11 is probably about right, depending on the child.

As far a day camps, a mix of enrichment and physical activity is available: sports and recreation, STEM, language, arts and crafts. Elkridge Furnace Inn offers a wonderful cooking camp for kids. In return, your child will be able to make breakfast, lunch and dinner.

If you chose to forgo paid summer camp, CHALLENGE 8: Find chores that keep kids busy and encourage them to build new life skills.

SUGGESTIONS: Focus on those chores that you should be teaching them all year, but are too busy for. The summer months provide more time to organize closets and drawers. Chores like doing laundry, yard work and making dinner are all great skills to have. If your child isn’t quite ready to cook she can prep for dinner or make a simple dessert like fruit salad. Taking turns cooking, with a parent teacher, can be an excellent way to learn.

If your child likes being outdoors, gardening is both relaxing and rewarding. Over the summer, your children can easily grow lettuce, squash, peppers, tomatoes, beets, strawberries, beans, cucumbers, and zucchini. As a bonus, these summer veggies can be the start of a tasty dinner.

CHALLENGE 9: We are taking a “REAL” vacation this year. Any ideas?
SUGGESTIONS:
Swim with the dolphins at Discovery Cove
Kayak with the dolphins at Virginia Beach
Amusement Parks
Niagara Falls
Lake Michigan
Camping with the wild ponies at Assateague, Chincoteague
National Parks

If you’ve decided not to travel this year, here’s a FINAL CHALLENGE that can involve the entire family. Research and plan next year’s vacation! It’s a great to foster organization and planning skills.

What’s on your Summer Bucket List?

Who Loves Summer?

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

I do. Absolutely. Best time of the year. That’s why . . . well . . . my blog’s just a little light these summer days. I like it the good ‘ole fashioned way: lemonade stands, long days at the pool, late bedtimes cuz the fireflies are still out, hopscotch followed by vanilla custard and chocolate jimmies. Not to mention the beach. Pure grace. The waves come in, the waves go out. And no one, not a one, is ever the same. Pure grace.

Sand castles, riding the waves, drip castles. Gotta love those sand buckets, filled with water, making the highest drip castle ever. Bike rides, the smell of sunscreen, the scent of bug spray. Even the occasional mosquito bug itch. And the smell of summer grass, freshly clipped, in the heat of the summer night. So forgive me if I’m not bloggin’ . . . but I’m on a little hiatus, with the kids, the sand, the sidewalk chalk, the summer sun. Like every year, it sifts right through our hands. Catch it now, for it will pass, as beautiful as that late eve sunset. I’ll be back, sure as Labor Day rolls around. And, this time, I’ll have that girl book, for all of you waiting on Corky, the newest character to lead your girls through puberty, adolescence, and the facts of life. It’s not all vacation, you know, not even for the summer worshiper like me. As sure as my toes are in the sand, that pen is on my paper, finishing up the next book. Stay tuned. It’s coming. In the midst of the summer love.

Until then, thanks to one of my fellow Twitter chatters, who summarized our last chat on Making It A Great Summer. She’ll post it here on my blog, for I’m hard to strap down these summer days. Have a seat in that lounge chair, but don’t lean too far back . . . some great summer ideas are comin’ just around the corner.

The End of The Everything Season

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

It’s like a second holiday season, this end-of-the-school-and-dance-and-soccer-and-drama-and-band-and-did-I-mention-everything-else season. There are gifts to buy, multiple performances to attend, graduation cards to mail, checks to write, side dishes to take, oh and by the way, who’s dropping off for try-outs tonight. We’re already gearing up for next season, you know. It’s ALL GOOD, but it IS BUSY. Don’t kid yourself. Like a second holiday season. Without the stoppage for the holiday. Oh yeah, there is a stoppage. A rather big one. Called Summer. I almost forgot . . . as my buzzer goes off . . . and I grab the gift . . . and sign the (where is that card?) Oh, here. Under the camp schedule.

Ah, the camp schedule. Now that sounds and feels nice. The holiday is coming. I can feel it. Can’t I?

It’s coming, alright. Keep Calm. Carry On. Eat Chocolate. Whatever It Takes. And for some ideas on how to make it a great summer, join us. June 11, 12-1 (EDT). Twitter. Stay Tuned.

“Kind is Cool” . . . The Warmth of the Human Spirit

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

Amidst the troubles of the world, isn’t it refreshing to witness true warmth within the human spirit? It happened to me, this weekend. With a stranger. On an airplane.

I was sitting there, about to take off, as the friendly, white-haired grandpa next to me asked me the reason for my visit. My precious little baby cousin, with Angelman Syndrome, I said. I went on to say how my daughter, my cousins, and my sister travelled to Dallas for the weekend to see, support – and walk – for our little 18 month old cousin, diagnosed with the rare disease (affecting only 1 in 15,000 children) of Angelman Syndrome, a neuro-genetic disease which leaves many children with the inability to walk or talk. Research for a cure is underway. And we walked to fund it. As the man in the seat next door continued to listen, I felt moved to share some tidbits about our little “angel,” a beautiful, happy, blue-eyed, blonde-curled little girl with a contagious smile and effervescent laugh.

That stranger sitting next to me looked at me, smiled, reached out his hand, and said, “I don’t even know you. But take this. Please put it in the Angelman fund.” And he handed me some money.

I was overwhelmed with the warmth, the kindness, the human spirit within this man, who suddenly wasn’t such a stranger. I thanked him as he replied that he “isn’t always the ‘perfect steward,’ but he tries his best.”

And that is the beauty of the human spirit. And the warmth within it.

Let the beauty and the warmth cast on, as I ask myself:
How do we nurture – foster – facilitate – help our children, not necessarily to be the perfect stewards, but to try their best?

Modeling. Yep, that good ‘ole role modeling. My daughter witnessed the entire interaction, and she, too, was touched. Maybe someday she’ll be that steward for another.

Instill empathy. Any chance you get, remind your kids to put themselves in other people’s shoes. There are so many teachable moments out there.

Share stories, like this, with your kids . . . as you encounter them personally or stumble upon them online or in the newspaper.

Teach them that “Kind is Cool.”
It is. It’s cool to watch someone being kind. It’s cool to be kind. And it feels cool all over when we are kind.

And for more tips on teaching that It’s Cool To Be Kind, check this out. (There’s also a great list of books for kids of all ages.)

Summer . . . Siblings . . . & Rivalry??

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

As much as I adore summer, it is inevitably always a transition in our house. As we joyfully, yet abruptly, cease our hectic routines, we suddenly find ourselves in each other’s space, with no pressing agenda at hand, and lots of good ‘ole summer down time. This is all great — until I realize it is pure breeding ground for: Sibling Rivalry.

We all know that sometimes our kids will do just about anything to get our attention. Any attention — positive or negative — is often better than no attention, when kids want it. Our kids know that clobbering Little Sissie Sue is a no-no, but guess what, it sure gets them Mom’s attention! And what about the nit-picking – doing everything they can to each other – just to get “a rise” out of that sibling?

As we welcome the joys of summer, along with its down time and together time, here are a few things I’m going to keep in mind, while enjoying the days of summer . . . siblings . . . and hopefully minimized rivalry:

I’m going to try to spend some time, alone, one-on-one, with each of them, even if it’s just a few minutes a day…..talking, shooting hoops, engaging in the crafts-at-hand, even watching tv. I shall try to remember what a positive impact this can have on each of them, on me, and ultimately on all of us.

I’ll pay attention to the time of day when the harmony goes awry. Are there patterns? Is there hunger? Boredom? Fatigue? I shall watch for clues and maybe, just maybe, I can have a subtle, yet proactive, impact on keeping the summer peace.

I’ll try to remind and encourage them to have their own space and time to themselves, while respecting the time and space of others. Sometimes this may be with friends over to play or needed “alone” time to themselves.

When I’m caught in the “moderator” shoes because they’re just not working it out, I will encourage them to work together to resolve the issue, working toward a win-win compromise.

And lastly, let me remember and promote the golden rule, reminding all of us to “do unto others,” and “put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.” Similarly, I may ask each of them to write or tell the other what he/she likes about the other while identifying things he/she likes to do with the other. This may just come in handy when the inevitable battles erupt.

But first, I need to make some lemonade. My sis is on her way.

So We Chatted About Chores and Shared Some Great Ideas

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

How do your kids help around the house and how do you hold them to it? Do they complain? Do they get paid or are they simply expected to help out because they are part of the family?

In our Twitter chat today, we shared experiences, commiserated, and shed some light on new ideas.

Some parents pay their kids for chores – at the end of the week, according to how many they’ve done. Some kids earn “tech” money (time for electronics) at week’s end, upon the completion of chores. Other parents simply expect the kids to do the chores — because they live in the house. Those kids may also receive an allowance – separate from the chores – merely as a money management learning tool. Lots of ways, lots of options. It just depends what works for each of us, and our families.

How do we get these kids do their chores? Reminders, certainly, reminders. Reminders for these distracted teens. One mom writes down the chores on a dry-erase board as the kids seek satisfaction in wiping off the completed chore. Another mom gives each member of the family a sticky note with a list of chores. Much portable, we all agreed, for those distracted teens (and husbands, but who said that?).

One of the ongoing, looming challenges for us all is: How do we consistently hold our kids accountable – on a regular basis – for completion of regular chores amidst the competing aspects of homework, sports, extra-curricular activities, and needed sleep? It’s an ongoing challenge. And not one that’s easily met.

We all agreed that natural consequences work best. Forget to unload the dishwasher like you were asked? Well, there’s the overflowing sink of dishes to now be loaded, dear. One mom chooses not to “do” or serve her kids when they resist her request of the chores to be done. If one can’t do his or her fair share around the house, one mom can delegate the lunch making right back.

Is there any way to make these chores fun, one mom asked. Music helps. Setting a timer for the big jobs. Divide. Conquer. Pitch in as a whole family, at one time. Many hands make light work. One mom noted that the sooner kids understand that chores just simply aren’t “fun,” the better. That’s good realization for the adult days — fewer disappointments and acceptance of the realities of “life” that way.

Nobody really tracks the completion of chores, per se. Yet a chore chart is always a consideration. And we all find it helpful to post a “grocery store list.” If you want it bought, put it on the list. This encourages kids to take some responsibility in the “food category.”

And lastly, one mom noted that “it’s never too early to start.” She taught her now 13 year old to dust – at 18 months.

How do the chores go in your house? Keep the dialogue going. There’s always soooo much to chat about. Stay tuned for the next Twitter chat. We’re throwing around subjects like sleep and healthy snacks for teens.