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Engage Your Kids On President’s Day

Make the most of President’s Day with your kids.

Here are a few ideas to help your kids acknowledge some of the value and the reasons for their “day off” and holiday weekend:

1. Acknowledge the great presidents of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln and their February birthdays.

2. Identify (with your child) some of the accomplishments and challenges faced by Abe Lincoln and George Washington.

3. Talk about our founding fathers, the values they lived by, and how those values compare to those of our society today.

4. Identify some of the presidents you admire and their “mark” on history or our country.

5. Discuss the unique traits and characteristics of a president and whether your child or you would like to be President.

Tie some meaning into the holiday, enjoy, and make it a great day.

Teens, Screen Time – And the Great, Big Beautiful World Out There

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

Once, it was simple.

No t.v. for kids under 2. Then, 1-2 hours of “screen time” a day for ages 2 and older. That was pretty easy. (Well, okay, not always easy, per se, but we got it and we did our best to acknowledge the benefits, the risks, and put forth appropriate limits.)

Is it just me or has “screen time” become an elusive thing? Not only for us as a society, but for our growing teens? Let’s face it, screen time consumes us all, sometimes, doesn’t it?

Especially those teens. The average teen sends 3,340 texts per month. That’s a little over 100 texts a day.

We all know the potential downsides of unmonitored, undisciplined, unyielded “screen time” for our children – and our teens: potential sleep problems, increased risk for obesity, greater chance of attention problems, anxiety, and depression, just to name a few.

Yet, how do we most effectively teach, instill, and model behaviors for technology, in a way that allows technology to enhance our teen’s life, rather than — ultimately — encumbering it? It’s a question, I think, that challenges us all, on some level. The guidelines remain the same: 1-2 hours of screen time a day for ages 2 and older. Can we even still do the math, according to the recommended guidelines? At over 100 texts per day, phone usage itself practically exceeds the recommended amount.

Like anything else, kids (and we) need a balance. All things in moderation. There is a time and place for everything — even in our 24/7 connected world of instant response.

Let us not lose sight of the value of making time for the true important things in life – and cherishing them. Let us allow that precious down time into our days . . . if even for just a few minutes . . . to put down the phone . . . to look away from the computer . . . that precious time to talk (eye-to-eye), to look out the window, to listen to the words of the song – not to mention pondering life and all that it holds.

Let’s remind ourselves, and let’s model it for our kids. It’s a big and beautiful world out there. Let’s not miss it.

Be A Better Parent. Get Bork!

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

Did you see the SuperBowl ad — the Kia Sorrento one — where the young boy asks his dad where babies come from?

“Babylandia,” says Dad, continuing on with a very vivid description of this baby-making planet.

Okay, cute commercial. We’ve all been there, with those questions — those questions we’re just not ready for quite yet.

Even though we may not be ready to face these questions, our kids are. Don’t let your kid be the laughing stock at the lunch table, believing Babylandia makes babies. Buy Bork. Just like the Kia Sorrento, Bork has (the right) answers for everything. Don’t we owe it to our kids to tell them the truth, the facts, The Real Deal? Let Bork help. He’ll pave the way for you . . . and help you with those questions. http://bit.ly/WIOB6D

Let’s Hear It for Mean Moms

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

Let’s hear it for Mean Moms.

I don’t know about you, but I remember the time my first-born looked me in the eye, and said for the first time: “You’re mean.” I think he was 2. I must admit, it hit something. Struck a chord. And not a peaceful, harmoniously moving one. It wasn’t too long later that I patted myself on the back. That time, and every time after. For I knew, at that moment, I was doing my job.

Let’s hear it for Mean Moms. And all the mean things they do.

The following piece has circulated over the years. Not even sure of the original author. But it’s a good one, and it’s a keeper. Nice reminders for us mean moms. High five and carry on.
____________________________

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end, you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mom wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come to the door so she could meet them.

Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us has ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property or ever arrested for a crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

Teens . . . And Their Space

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

Teens – and their growing need for space. We’re sure finding it in our home.

We just “finished” our basement. Real walls, paint and everything. It was once a cellar, crammed with precious “stuff.” Needless to say, we are all thrilled. Especially my 13 year old.

Did I mention we never see him? Sorta figured that might happen. Everything has its benefits and costs. He just . . . well . . . likes his space down there. He does occasionally come up. For snacks . . . and dinner . . . and such. You see the picture. It might even resemble your own.

What is it with these teens and—their need for—privacy? Away from . . . us?

As our teens develop, they need their privacy. It’s one of those developmentally appropriate things. They reach that stage, as they are growing and maturing…in so many different ways…that they want to be thought of as being mature, capable, and able to have some independence. They want us to trust them to be such, and at the same time, they are earning our trust. Space (separated from us) gives them that opportunity. It’s a two-way street, just like so many interdependent relationships and situations in life.

Space — away from the main family settings at times — allows them to subconsciously realize that they will be functioning out in the world some day. They’re gaining a little bit of distance from us, but not too much.

It’s our opportunity, too, to let go. Just a bit. And yet not worry, for they’ll still come up for snacks.

You Know You’re In Puberty . . . When . . .

Published by Terri Shearer Trenchard

You Know You’re In Puberty When . . .
. . . you grow taller and stronger and certain parts of your body grow bigger and you get hair in different places and your voice starts to change and . . .

Let’s slow down.

(a little excerpt from my book, just for free . . .)

One of the first things to know about puberty is: everybody begins it at a different time.
Yep, everyone gets to the starting gate at different times and everyone finishes at different times. Just like everyone learned to walk, talk, read, and catch a ball at different times. Some boys start the puberty changes when they are 9, and some boys start the changes when they are 14 or 15. One thing’s for sure though…you can’t skip it. You will definitely go through it.
And you know what? IT’S ALL NORMAL. Let me repeat that: IT’S ALL NORMAL. It can feel like a wild ride, sometimes, but IT’S ALL NORMAL. Guess what else? Girls generally start puberty before boys. Yep, that’s right. They usually beat you to the starting gate. (At least this time). 

And now, for your first REAL DEAL ACTION CHALLENGE.

I’ll wait patiently here to see if you’re up to the task. If you are, here it is:

(an excerpt from my book, Bork Reveals the Real Deal about the Facts of Life, written for boys ages 9-13)